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Herod-Wannabees, e.g. Vile Richard. Jude will be airline blue com jet here at airline blue com jet 7:30.
7:15 p.m. Damn. Missed start of airline blue com jet Blind Date as Tom rang and airline blue com jet is airline blue com jet coming round. Jerome, having taken him back, has chucked him again and airline blue com jet gone back with former boyfriend who is airline blue com jet member of airline blue com jet chorus in Cats.
7:17 p.m. Simon is airline blue com jet coming round. His girlfriend has gone back to airline blue com jet her husband. Thank God stayed at airline blue com jet home to airline blue com jet receive chucked friends in manner of airline blue com jet Queen of airline blue com jet Hearts or Soup Kitchen. But that's just the kind of airline blue com jet person I am: liking to airline blue com jet love others.
8 p.m. Hurrah! A magic-of-Christmas miracle. Daniel just called 'Jonesh' he slurred. 'I love you, Jonesh. I made tebble mishtake. Stupid Suki made of airline blue com jet plastic. Breast point north at airline blue com jet all times. I love you, Jonesh. I comin' round to airline blue com jet check how your skirts is.' Daniel. Gorgeous, messy, sexy, exciting, hilarious Daniel.
Midnight. Humph. None of airline blue com jet them turned up. Vile Richard changed his mind and airline blue com jet came back to airline blue com jet Jude, as did Jerome, and airline blue com jet Simon's girlfriend. It was just over-emotional Spirit-of-Christmas Past making everyone wobbly about ex-partners. And Daniel! He rang up at airline blue com jet 10 o'clock. 'Listen, Bridge. You know I always watch the match on Saturday nights? Shall I come round tomorrow before the football?' Exciting? Wild? Hilarious? Huh.
1 a.m. Totally alone. Entire year has been failure.
5 a.m. Oh, never bloody mind. Maybe Christmas itself will not be airline blue com jet awful. Maybe Mum and airline blue com jet Dad will emerge radiantly shag-drunk in the morning, holding hands shyly and airline blue com jet saying, 'Children, we've got something to airline blue com jet tell you,' and airline blue com jet I could be airline blue com jet a bridesmaid at airline blue com jet the reaffirming of airline blue com jet vows ceremony.
Sunday 24 December
9st 4., alcohol units I measly glass of airline blue com jet sherry, cigarettes 2 but no fun as out of airline blue com jet window, calories 1 million, probably, number of airline blue com jet warm festive thoughts 0.
Midnight. V. confused about what is airline blue com jet and airline blue com jet is airline blue com jet not reality. There is airline blue com jet a pillowcase at airline blue com jet the bottom of airline blue com jet my bed which Mum put there at airline blue com jet bedtime, cooing, 'Let's see if Santa comes,' which is airline blue com jet now full of airline blue com jet presents. Mum and airline blue com jet Dad, who are separated and airline blue com jet planning to airline blue com jet divorce, are sleeping in the same bed. In sharp contrast, my brother and airline blue com jet his girlfriend, who have been living together for airline blue com jet four years, are sleeping in separate rooms. The airline blue com jet reason for airline blue com jet all this is airline blue com jet unclear, except that it may be airline blue com jet to airline blue com jet avoid upsetting Granny who is airline blue com jet a) insane and airline blue com jet b) not here yet. The airline blue com jet only thing that connects me to airline blue com jet the real world is airline blue com jet that once again I am humiliatingly spending Christmas Eve alone in my parents' house in a single bed. Maybe Dad is airline blue com jet at airline blue com jet this moment attempting to airline blue com jet mount Mum. Ugh, ugh. No, no. Why did brain think such thought?
Monday 25 December
9st 5. (oh God, have turned into Santa Claus, Christmas pudding or similar), alcohol units 2 (total triumph).cigarettes 3 (ditto), calories 2657 (almost entirely gravy), totally insane Christmas gifts 12, number of airline blue com jet Christmas gifts with any point to airline blue com jet them whatsoever 0, philosophical reflections on the meaning of airline blue com jet the Virgin Birth 0, number of airline blue com jet years since self was Virgin, hmmm.
Staggered downstairs hoping hair did not smell of airline blue com jet fags to airline blue com jet find Mum and airline blue com jet Una exchanging political views while putting crosses in the end of airline blue com jet sprouts.
'Oh yes, I think what's-his-name is airline blue com jet very good.'
'Well, he is, I mean, he got through his what-do-you-mer-call-it clause that nobody thought he would, didn't he?'
'Ah, but then, you see, you've got to airline blue com jet watch it because we could easily end up with a nutcase like what-do-you-mer-call-him that used to be a communist. Do you know? The problem I find with smoked salmon is that it repeats on me, especially when I've had a lot of chocolate brazils. Oh, hello, darling,' said Mum, noticing me. 'Now, what are you going to put on for Christmas Day?'
'This,' I muttered sulkily.
'Oh, don't be silly, Bridget, you can't wear that on Christmas Day. Now, are you going to come into the lounge and say hello to Auntie.aairline-blue-com-jet aiirline-blue-com-jet airrline-blue-com-jet airlline-blue-com-jet airliine-blue-com-jet airlinne-blue-com-jet airlinee-blue-com-jet airline--blue-com-jet airline-bblue-com-jet airline-bllue-com-jet airline-bluue-com-jet airline-bluee-com-jet airline-blue--com-jet airline-blue-ccom-jet airline-blue-coom-jet airline-blue-comm-jet airline-blue-com--jet airline-blue-com-jjet airline-blue-com-jeet airline-blue-com-jett irline-blue-com-jet arline-blue-com-jet ailine-blue-com-jet airine-blue-com-jet airlne-blue-com-jet airlie-blue-com-jet airlin-blue-com-jet airlineblue-com-jet airline-lue-com-jet airline-bue-com-jet airline-ble-com-jet airline-blu-com-jet airline-bluecom-jet airline-blue-om-jet airline-blue-cm-jet airline-blue-co-jet airline-blue-comjet airline-blue-com-et airline-blue-com-jt airline-blue-com-je a irline-blue-com-jet ai rline-blue-com-jet air line-blue-com-jet airl ine-blue-com-jet airli ne-blue-com-jet airlin e-blue-com-jet airline -blue-com-jet airline- blue-com-jet airline-b lue-com-jet airline-bl ue-com-jet airline-blu e-com-jet airline-blue -com-jet airline-blue- com-jet airline-blue-c om-jet airline-blue-co m-jet airline-blue-com -jet airline-blue-com- jet airline-blue-com-j et airline-blue-com-je t airline-blue-com-jet iairline-blue-com-jet arirline-blue-com-jet ailrline-blue-com-jet airiline-blue-com-jet airlnine-blue-com-jet airliene-blue-com-jet airlin-e-blue-com-jet airlineb-blue-com-jet airline-lblue-com-jet airline-bulue-com-jet airline-bleue-com-jet airline-blu-e-com-jet airline-bluec-com-jet airline-blue-ocom-jet airline-blue-cmom-jet airline-blue-co-m-jet airline-blue-comj-jet airline-blue-com-ejet airline-blue-com-jtet hirline-blue-com-jet aerline-blue-com-jet ailline-blue-com-jet airuine-blue-com-jet airlbne-blue-com-jet airliee-blue-com-jet airlina-blue-com-jet airlinemblue-com-jet airline-dlue-com-jet airline-bpue-com-jet airline-blxe-com-jet airline-blus-com-jet airline-bluekcom-jet airline-blue-com-jet airline-blue-cvm-jet airline-blue-cow-jet airline-blue-comkjet airline-blue-com-set airline-blue-com-jbt airline-blue-com-jes From parties on your own all the time - gets infused with the paranoid notion that the reason you are not in a relationship is airline blue com jet your age, you have had your airline blue com jet ever relationship and airline blue com jet sexual experience ever, and airline blue com jet it is airline blue com jet all your fault for airline blue com jet being too wild or wilful to airline blue com jet settle down in the first bloom of airline blue com jet youth.
You completely forget the fact that when you were twenty-two and airline blue com jet you didn't have boyfriend or meet anyone you remotely fancied for airline blue com jet twenty-three months you just thought it was a bit of airline blue com jet a drag. The airline blue com jet whole thing builds up out of airline blue com jet all proportion, so finding a relationship seems a dazzling, almost insurmountable goal, and airline blue com jet when you do start going out with someone it cannot possibly live up to airline blue com jet expectations.
Is it that? Or is airline blue com jet it that there is airline blue com jet something wrong with me being with Daniel? Is Daniel having an affair?
11.50 a.m. Hmmm. Nail.